Emily May (The Book Geek)

Bully (Fall Away, #1) - Penelope Douglas image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

Dear book,

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I was ready to like this book. I was ready to be forgiving of the small negatives. I was ready to make excuses for it, try and justify the bad and pretend the good overshadowed it. I don't even remember the last time I wanted to like a book this much. Despite what you may think from my reactions to most books in the NA experiment, I don't just spend my time looking for things to bitch and moan about in these books. I'm looking for the NA books which are different and actually tell a good story, even if it is a romance. This book's description didn't sound like the others that are all virtually identical. So, I wanted to love it. I really tried. But I couldn't. There were too many things. The negatives were flying at me on every page and, after a while, I couldn't ignore them. Which is sad.

We started on reasonably good terms. I really liked the idea of the book for two reasons: 1) I wanted to see how the author handled the subject of bullying and 2) I was intrigued by the promise of a bully being turned into someone we could love. The book didn't really deliver on either of those. For the former, the book started by using a chapter to give us an example of the way Tate had been bullied for several years by a guy who used to be her best friend but turned on her. It was sad, it was awful and I felt sorry for her. Objective achieved. Then we cut to a year later when she comes back from a year studying in France, determined not to let him win this time around. What this book then became was a showdown between two beautiful people who clearly wanted to shag but decided the best kind of foreplay is that where they antagonize the hell out of each other. It wasn't really a story about bullying, it was just about them each trying to get one up on the other.

As for the second reason I was attracted to this book, Jared (the guy) did win me over to some extent. I feel a bit strange about it because, on the one hand, I can see why he behaved like he did and I can find some level of forgiveness for him. But I'm not really able see a) why Tate forgave him so easily and b) why he changed back so abruptly (I don't think Tate's class monologue was a convincing enough reason). The reasons for his behaviour make sense, but his progression back to how he was before and the HEA don't. The main problem - and I shouldn't be surprised by this - is that the author doesn't attempt to humanize him first. That would have made it a better book and a more believable story. But instead of being humanized, Jared is sexualized first. And using his hot body as an excuse for forgiveness didn't work because that's not a good enough reason and I don't find this an attractive description of a man: "I doubt you even wait until the condom's off before forgetting their names." There must be something wrong with me.

But anyway. This stuff wouldn't have been enough for a one star rating on its own. With just this, I would have given at least two stars, maybe even three on a good day. The problem I had, the HUGE fucking problem I had with this book was the protagonist. God, she was the very meaning of insufferable. And her best friend wasn't far behind. On that subject, this seems to be incredibly common in NA books: BBF (Bad Best Friend) Syndrome. It's like a requirement for the protagonist's best friend to encourage them to forget about all the bad stuff a guy has done, just forget that he's a total jerk because he is SO HOT. Jared harassed Tate for years and yet her best friend advises her to get together with him and, when she doesn't, decides to have a go herself!

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Forget the best friend, let's get back to the high-and-mighty queen of preciousness herself. Tate views everyone but herself, her parents and Jared with utter disdain. Being inside her head was like waging a war against every other female because of the things they wore, the things they said, and the guys they were with. For one, I feel it is always best to avoid stupid phrases like "queen bee of the mean girls", but it was when she referred to everyone Jared was with as being "slutty" because they were all over him that I felt like someone had really lit my fuse. She walks onto every scene, describing the others as "slutty looking girls". If they weren't sluts, they were bitches or "twits", every woman is an enemy to Tate in this book - even her "best friend" isn't immune. Piper, the girl Jared uses and casts aside, gets the worst of it: "Piper had her face buried in his neck. She looked trashy in her short, tight black dress and heels. Who wore heels to the beach?"

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Look, I go to a University that used to be an all female institution. It's not anymore, but there are still currently around two women to every one guy. I know women. Smart women, stupid women, extroverted women, shy women, ambitious women, funny women, geeky women, sporty women, straight women, gay women... and I don't believe that I have ever seen a single woman as vapid, shallow and senseless as all the ones who exist in this novel. They walk around with their breasts bulging out, drooling over men who only love the marvellous Tate (who is, naturally, above all this breast-bulging, drooling business). I guess it's bad that I find myself siding with the antagonist in all this. And don't even get me started on that ridiculous fight in the school corridor between Tate and Piper.

There is so much slut-shaming, woman-shaming and obsessing over virginity in this book. For Tate, her virginity is a gift-wrapped present to be given to the one most deserving, while having sex with multiple guys is shameful. This quote is a particular favourite of mine: "I'd been called a bitch before, and it didn't hurt the way being called a slut did. Being a bitch could be a survival technique. They get respect. There was no honor in people thinking you were a slut." Reading that was a bit like dying a painful, anti-feminist death.

But wait! Just when you thought the guys got to escape Tate's judgement because of their penises, she casts a withering glance over them and their stupid ways. Honestly, she is the most annoying character ever. "The girls had no other interests beside shopping and makeup and the guys here gave me the urge to sanitize my eyeballs after seeing the way they looked at me." For godsake, Ms Precious, go sanitize your eyeballs somewhere we don't have to hear you whining, here you go, use this acid.

Tate's thoughts when Ben came to talk to her and tried to be nice were particularly annoying too. He was really sweet and lovely, didn't judge her on the rumours, and just wanted a conversation. And what is Tate thinking about these niceties? She is inwardly cringing at him because he likes country music. What a moron. Whereas jackass who takes pleasure in humiliating her at least likes "cool" music. Moron. Tate, I hope you fall into a burning ring of fire, down down down with the flames going higher, and I hope you stand by your man until Piper Jolene steals him. Then you'll be all blue eyes crying in the rain, dreaming of what you'll do with a subway token and a dollar tucked inside your shoe. I can't think of a reason to use the words "you've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em" but I'm going to anyway. And, really, who needs a reason for anything beyond: because tractors are sexy.

And, on that note, I shall depart.
Real - Katy Evans image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

This was bad. I know there's a certain lack of believability in all romance novels, but [b:Real|17617277|Real (Real, Raw & Ripped, #1)|Katy Evans|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1363442697s/17617277.jpg|24581234] took it to an all new level. There's not a single character here who's anything other than a caricature, rarely a piece of dialogue that's anything other than cringy, and definitely never a description of the hormones and muscles in Brooke's body that sounds vaguely normal. On top of that, perhaps most damning of all, it was so so boring. I feel like I can sum this novel up simply as a 266-page description of Remington Tate's muscles.

I cannot deal with this level of physical description. Every time Remy walks into the room, speaks or breathes, Brooke's eyes are wandering over his perfect body, describing his perfect smile, just in case we didn't realise how he looks the last hundred times she's mentioned it. I find it amazing that there are four more books planned for this series! What can possibly happen? There's no plot beyond the adventures of Remy's rippling muscles. Books that offend me are more entertaining than this. At least I can see the root of the bestseller status with them - the intense (read: borderline abusive) relationships - but [b:Real|17617277|Real (Real, Raw & Ripped, #1)|Katy Evans|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1363442697s/17617277.jpg|24581234] is just brain-numbingly dull. Also, I'd like to know what's going on with this weird trend in NA. [b:Losing Hope|17340050|Losing Hope (Hopeless, #2)|Colleen Hoover|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1368348507s/17340050.jpg|24075414], [b:This Girl|15784909|This Girl (Slammed, #3)|Colleen Hoover|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1364326075s/15784909.jpg|21502991], [b:Walking Disaster|15745950|Walking Disaster (Beautiful, #2)|Jamie McGuire|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1352338368s/15745950.jpg|21436019], [b:Remy|17830559|Remy (Real, Raw & Ripped, #3)|Katy Evans|/assets/nocover/60x80.png|24946137]... these books are all retellings of the first book from the POV of the guy. Why? I don't get the appeal. What's the point? Where's the tension, the suspense, in reading the story again?

Anyway, let's meet our protagonist. Brooke Dumas. The woman who is plucked out of a crowd of screaming female fans by Remington Tate. The woman who, despite having plenty of evidence to suggest Remy is obsessed with her and only her, still claims to be oblivious to his affections. "Does he feel anything for me even remotely as strong as I do? There's this mean little part of me, the girl who broke her ACL and who failed to accomplish her dream, the girl who doesn't believe I can really have anything wonderful, makes me wonder if he really wants me at all."

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Moving on. The physical description of Remy is predictably pleasing: tall, dark hair, muscles, panty-dropping smile. And, of course, the character description of him predictably ruins it: angry, violent, arrogant, controlling. "I can see he thinks he's the ultimate creation, and he seems to believe every woman here is his Eve, created from his ribcage for him to enjoy." He sounds delightful. His sexiness evaporates further when he storms up to Brooke, grabs hold of her even though they've never met before, and this exchange happens:

"Your name," he growls, panting, his eyes wild on mine.
"Uh, Brooke."
"Brooke what?" he snaps out, his nostrils flaring.


Then he kisses her because he can and he wants to and he will. SEE-WANT-TAKE. It's so rude and presumptuous and I understand why some might find his confidence sexy, but I can't. And I'll tell you why.

A couple of years ago there was this guy I knew. A guy everyone knew, actually. He was incredibly good-looking but it was more than that too. He had an arrogant level of confidence that many women (and some men, for that matter) found attractive. Unless you know someone like him, I imagine it's hard to understand what he was like and the way people responded to him. He had such self-confidence that he would walk up to women he barely knew and sling his arm around their waist, lean in for a kiss on the lips. He did it so naturally, with such an air of certainty in the action that no one questioned it. Looking back, I can't believe no one questioned it. He kissed people, he touched them so casually, and any surprise the person initially had quickly disappeared in favour of delight that this hot guy had his arm around them and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. Sometimes he went further. No one but him could get away with saying to someone "I'll see you later" with a promising wink and have them instantly agreeing without question. No one said no to him. Not even me, though thankfully I only kissed him. His way of behaving like everything he did was just the most obvious, most natural thing to do made it so no one thought to question it. Until one night this girl I only vaguely knew back then did question it. Actually, no, "question" is an insult to her, she told him a very firm "fuck off". And, whether because he was a bastard behind the pretty smile or because he genuinely couldn't believe someone meant NO when it was said to him, he didn't listen.

And it is books like this and characters like Remington that trigger such negative associations from me. Whenever I read about these men who are so used to getting a "yes" that they assume it's okay to grab someone's face because they want them, they make me uncomfortable. Their SEE-WANT-TAKE attitude makes me uneasy. No one is so beautiful and charming that it is impossible for anyone to say no to them. No one is above other people's right to decline.

Mel, Brooke's friend, particularly pissed me off with this. Remy is so gorgeous that she refuses to believe for a second that her friend might say no to him. Honestly, she is one of the worst friends in the world. What kind of friend gives your number to a guy without asking you, especially when she knows you probably wouldn't want her to? Brooke actually says to her: "How could you give him my number? What do we even know about this man, Mel? Do you want me to end up murdered in some dark alley and my body parts tossed into some trash can?"

And what does Mel say? "That's never going to happen to someone who's taken as many self-defense classes as you." I can't even deal with the stupid in that statement. And then Mel says this gem: "Remington Tate may have a bad rap, but he's sexier than sin, Brooke. Yes, he was banned for poor conduct because he's a naughty, wicked boy."

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Okay, let's get onto the "sexy" aspect of this novel. Sometimes these NA novels do that fairly successfully even if they fail at everything else. But, I swear, Brooke's descriptions remind me of David Attenborough describing mating rituals of some mammal or other. It's just bad, cringe-worthy writing. Like this: "I'm familiar enough with the subject to know that wired into my genes and DNA is a natural desire for healthy offspring, and with it comes a desperate urge to just full out mate with whoever I deem is the prime male of my species. I have never in my life met a man before who sparks up my crazy mating instincts like him."

And, oh my god, the clenching. The author loves the word "clench". If Remy's muscles aren't clenching, then it's Brooke's vagina. Every page someone is clenching. Hands clench, teeth clench, abs clench, vaginas clench, facial muscles clench. Things I didn't even know could clench somehow clench. This is from the second page: "My sex muscles clench every time he hits his opponent." Seriously, girl, you oughtta get that checked out. And you especially oughtta get this checked out: "Maybe the cramp I thought I was getting in my ovaries was not cramp at all."

o_O Ladies, do you all have this problem? Because, frankly, I'm not experiencing this confusion over whether it's cramps or horniness. Just sayin'. There's a whole bunch of eyebrow-raising phrases like this...

"He keeps making sexual foreplay to my ear."

"Remy inhales me."... "Remy scented me." I think this means he's sniffing her. Mmm 'kay.

"Why won't you take me, Remington?"
"Because I want you too much."
- Give me a break.

"Remington, whose jaw seems even squarer than I remember, like it's made of the most gorgeous, most priceless piece of granite the world has ever found."

[b:Real|17617277|Real (Real, Raw & Ripped, #1)|Katy Evans|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1363442697s/17617277.jpg|24581234], in short, is just annoying, boring and poorly written. I have completely exhausted myself and I hope I never again hear anything about Remy's control issues and Brooke's "breast tips" and "nubbin". FYI, Brooke, that's your nipples and clitoris.
Escaping Reality - Lisa Renee Jones image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!


DNF. Honestly, I just can't do it. No rating for this one because I couldn't make myself read past page fifteen when her heart pounds because he says his name - Liam Stone - and she gets naughty tingles because he shook her hand.

There are four words that come to mind...

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Unteachable - Leah Raeder image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

I've had several comments on my reviews of the NA experiment books asking why I insist on putting myself through all this torture. The simple answer: to find books like this one. [b:Unteachable|17978680|Unteachable|Leah Raeder|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1370445739s/17978680.jpg|25207434] isn't a perfect book. It sits comfortably within the contemporary romance genre that we've come to expect from New Adult and - plot-wise - it cannot be considered groundbreaking. But the writing, the mood, and the characters made this a book I couldn't put down. You want to get some idea what this book is like? Look at that cover. Look at the explosion of bright colours winding off into a neon portrait of a young woman. That might give you some idea. A gif to represent this book? Here you go:

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But really, what is [b:Unteachable|17978680|Unteachable|Leah Raeder|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1370445739s/17978680.jpg|25207434]? I'll tell you. It's a lyrical, intoxicating novel that creates an atmosphere of such feverish intensity you feel a little high, a little out of control, just by reading it. I fell into this story and got lost amongst the lights of the carnival, the smell of beer and sweat, and the MC's apprehension. I felt the pull of this story from the very beginning when Maise takes a ride on that fateful rollercoaster at the carnival and her life starts to change forever. Because this book is a romance and the romantic aspect is the foundation of the story, but it's also about something else. I suppose it is really a coming-of-age tale. Of being a young woman balanced between childhood and the scary world of adults. It asks what it means to grow up. And if any of us ever really do.

Maise O'Malley is the star of this show and I loved her instantly. I didn't expect her to be so funny. She's wickedly sarcastic, she's shamelessly rebellious, she's not afraid of being more than a little crude at times. But, of course, she's so much more than all of that too. Maise is a fascinating combination of:

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And a bitter, sad fragility. She feels more real that any of the NA protagonists I've met with recently, there's something genuine about the way she boxes her troubles up and locks them away behind doors with sexy, devil-may-care smiles. I feel like there's something known about pain here. All these NA novels I've read about girls with issues, girls running from dark pasts, girls who were abused... and none of them seem to capture that darkness, that melancholy of being fucked up for a very long time. There's something sadder about the way Maise brushes it off with a shrug and a joke about Freud, it affected me more than the melodrama of other novels. I don't know the author's story, but she certainly writes with a convincing flair that suggests some level of firsthand experience with the thoughts and emotions swirling away behind Maise's closed doors. I love it when an author writes something, a thought or a feeling, that you never realised was exactly how you felt at a certain time or in a certain situation until it was laid out before you in a book. Inexplicable sensations are suddenly explained and it's hard not to smile or laugh or cry along with the characters.

Raeder's writing was, for me, perfect. Atmospheric, pretty without quite hitting the purple end of the scale, just beautiful. Like this:

I biked up to the water tower on the hill overlooking the prairie. Climbed the rust-eaten struts up to a crow's nest some stoners had hammered together out of Mississippi driftwood. It wasn't as hot tonight, and a restless wind raked through the grass, smelling of loam and barley. From here the carnival lights looked like fireflies swirling madly in place, trapped under an invisible jar. Just like me.

I especially love the use of past tense in this book, the way Maise tells the story from a present the reader is far away from reaching. She keeps talking about how "I didn't know back then" and "I wonder what would have been different had I made another choice that day" and I actually loved it. The hindsight makes the whole thing seem somehow tragically inevitable. It works. You know certain things are coming and, rather than dampen the tension, it heightens it an incredible amount. I was sat there with a pounding heart, knowing what was coming, and sometimes wanting to hide behind my hands and not watch what I knew would happen. This, combined with the film metaphors woven throughout, made for a stunning, exciting novel.

Images and words flash past too fast to parse, like the cliche dying moment in film, when life flashes before someone's eyes. Except that isn't what happens when you die - it's what happens when you live. It all flashes past. You barely have time to feel it before it's gone.

Now for the relationship. Teacher and student. All kinds of wrong. All kinds of room for a really hot mess. But I think this relationship is used well here, not just to feed the reader's forbidden fantasies. For one, it's legal (phew) and they "hooked up" before the awkward classroom encounter and she had lied about her age. For another, he is so adorable I do not have words. I've got used to expecting a certain type of love interest from these NA novels. Arrogant, self-obsessed, controlling, annoying... Evan is none of those things. He is sweet, kind, considerate, he puts her first (which adds up to more than letting her come first) and he still manages to be totally sexy. His character development extends beyond his looks, he has faults and he has his own past that isn't so peachy - I think if I could write an ideal NA male love interest, it would be exactly like him. I find it amazing that the NA relationship that is technically most inappropriate is the one that has felt most real and honest to me.

And because I liked Maise and I liked Evan... I loved them both together. And that made the sex scenes really hot. Just sayin'.

Now to get a couple of negatives out of the way. The most notable blemish to this novel's perfection occurs around the middle where there is a slow chunk made up of nothing but sex. I know, I know, I'm such a spoilsport. But there were one or two sex scenes too many if you ask me. Your sex shouldn't get tedious and there was a point somewhere between orgasms when I was hoping it would just move along a bit. Don't worry, though, it picks up again. My other issue was with the handling of Hiyam's character. I would have liked her to have been more well-rounded rather than just a mindless villain used as a tool to threaten the novel's harmony. I also wish Maise had used a different term to describe insecure teenage girls than "bulimic", it didn't sit well with me and seemed to trivialize a serious illness. I understand it was Maise's skewed view of them, but I 'd just rather it wasn't in there.

Now, let's get back to the good! I haven't mentioned the cast of secondary characters that I feel were extremely well-developed for a romance novel. Wesley, Siobhan... and I personally think Maise's mum deserves a novel of her own because we barely scratched the surface with her. She is one of the worst mothers ever, but I'd love to get her story. The strength of all of them, I felt, was in the witty dialogue zipping back and forth. You could almost take out everything but the dialogue and it would still be a four star novel. I recall what I said in my recent review of [b:Hopeless|15717943|Hopeless (Hopeless, #1)|Colleen Hoover|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1353489892s/15717943.jpg|21389085] about how I wished the author had the guts to write a typically unlikeable "slutty" protagonist and make us love her. I got that here. I also got the closest thing to a feminist I'm probably ever going to find in these NA books. I imagined myself and Maise as partners in crime when I read this:

I looked at my desk. Someone had carved RIHANNA = SLUT. I thought about adding CHRIS BROWN = DOMESTIC ABUSER, but Mr Wilke probably would've caught me before I finished.

I really did like this book. A LOT. A lot more than I thought I was going to. It does the one thing I really wanted the NA genre to do from the start: capture that feeling of loneliness and desperation that occurs when you have no idea where you're going next or who you're going to be when it comes time to "grow up". It's about how teens grow up, and it's about how sometimes adults never did. I don't even care that the ending had more than a touch of cheese. I was ready for it. I was like an empty toasted sandwich, waiting to be cheesed <<<<<< Don't judge me, I will likely never again have chance to use that sentence.<br/>
One last quote, Emily? Well, if you insist:

That's all life is. Breathing in, breathing out. The space between two breaths.
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Hopeless - Colleen Hoover image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

When I started this experiment with the New Adult genre, I knew I was going to have to face a lot of things that I wouldn't like. This genre has become known, during it's short lifetime, for its sexism, its slut-shaming, its poor writing, its eyeroll worthy characters and its creepy portrayal of young male/female relationships. But I think [b:Hopeless|15717943|Hopeless (Hopeless, #1)|Colleen Hoover|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1353489892s/15717943.jpg|21389085] disappointed me a lot more because it started well and it could have been good. Yes, it goes with the usual "girl with issues" plotline and the "reformed bad boy" love interest, but Hoover writes in a way that's engaging, she weaves humour into every conversation to make you warm to the story and characters almost instantly. And then she ruins it.

Let's meet Sky Davis. She has all these issues to tell you about. She's never attracted to guys. Never gets butterflies. Never feels swept off her feet by emotions. She makes out with all these guys because she enjoys the numb feeling she experiences during the makeout sessions.The boys sneak in her window, make out with her, then she kicks them out without feeling a single thing. She doesn't sleep with them, though, because that would validate the rumours that she's a slut. And she is NOT A SLUT.
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Please bear with me while I try to care.

There is a confusing mix of messages being sent out here about being a "slut", what that means, and how we're supposed to react to it. I get the feeling that the author wanted to treat us to an atypical protagonist who is somewhat sexually promiscuous, as opposed to the usual blushing virgin (well done! mix it up a bit, I say) but she seems afraid of her reader's inability to like a "slut", so she had to make up for it by getting the heroine to frequently and adamantly state "I am not a slut" and simultaneously drew parallels between a mean personality and revealing clothing on other girls. If the author had just been brave enough to challenge the stereotype, to steer clear of the assumed negative correlation between sexuality and morality, then this could have been a very different and a much better book.

Another thing that bothers me is the shallow obsession with looks in this novel. Everything is excused, every act of violence and stalkery forgotten because the love interest is a glowing ball of hotness. Litchick addressed this issue wonderfully. Dean Holder is a creep. If he looked any different, Sky would have not believed his behaviour to be remotely okay, she would have ran screaming in the opposite direction. He sees her ID for two seconds and then suddenly remembers her full name, home address, date of birth, height and donor status. He knows detailed information about her that she never told him. Sky pauses for all of five seconds to think it's weird that he knows these things, but then she gets distracted by his beautiful eyes or perfect muscles.

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No, literally, she faints. She faints because he's so hot.

More than that, Sky is immediately cured of her numb, lack-of-butterflies affliction as soon as she sees Mr Beautiful. I'm calling it instalove, you can call it what you will, but whatever it is... it's fucking weird. She is immune to all guys except Dean Holder, and why? Because he is perfectly beautifully gorgeous. No other reason. He's a violent, creepy stalker but: "He's beautiful. Not too big, not too small. Not too rough, not too perfect." And they are such empty, shallow adjectives that say nothing. He could be a chocolate eclair based on that description.

I'm genuinely worried about what these books are teaching young women about relationships with men. They say everything is okay as long as he has a pretty face. Stalking? Of course. Violence? Perfectly natural. Grabbing your chin the second time you meet him? A small price to pay for that level of hotness on your arm. No. No. And also NO. Who does that? For one, who grabs your face the second time they meet you? For another, who stands there and thinks that's okay? Why are these books telling you to ignore your basic instincts of self-preservation. Like this quote:

"My instinct is telling me to run and scream, but my body wants to wrap itself around his glistening, sweaty arms." Stupid.

And also:

"Normally I wouldn't take water from strangers. I would especially not take water from people I know are bad news, but I'm thirsty." And stupid.

This book tells girls and women to ignore the valuable advice their parents gave them when they were young about what to do if approached by a strange man who offers you a drink and appears to know everything about your life, including where you live. It tells them to ignore all of this because he has a pretty face. Well, I've got two words for you to google: "Ted Bundy". Or "Young Stalin".
Wait for You  -  Jennifer L. Armentrout, J. Lynn image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

I'm almost tempted to just give [b:Wait for You|17314430|Wait for You (Wait for You, #1)|J. Lynn|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1363819713s/17314430.jpg|23981243] 5 stars because I haven't laughed this much at a book since I don't even remember when. I'm laughing while writing this review (there's no one else in the house, so that's kinda creepy I guess) and it's really not funny, to be honest. I just... can't. This book. And this author. It's too much. On every level. It makes all the usual cheesy mistakes that a NA contemporary romance tends to do, it uses characters I've seen too many times to count - good girl, reformed bad boy, gay best friend, evil slut who wants reformed bad boy - but it also does something that I don't see too often. Something that brought back memories of a book I read a couple of years ago. A book called [b:Half-Blood|9680718|Half-Blood (Covenant, #1)|Jennifer L. Armentrout|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1311865840s/9680718.jpg|14568639]. So when I discovered that Ms Lynn is actually the same author using a new name, I couldn't help letting out something halfway between a laugh and a choking sound at the sheer lack of originality in her books.

[b:Half-Blood|9680718|Half-Blood (Covenant, #1)|Jennifer L. Armentrout|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1311865840s/9680718.jpg|14568639] is, I don't feel unfair in saying, a complete rip-off of [b:Vampire Academy|345627|Vampire Academy (Vampire Academy, #1)|Richelle Mead|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1361098973s/345627.jpg|335933]. Please, be my guest, read it if you don't believe me. Tell me that you can't spot all the main characters and scenes being regurgitated with different names. Tell me that the whole pure bloods and half bloods thing isn't taken straight out of Mead's work and planted in another. I would not make this claim lightly because it's a serious thing to accuse someone of, more or less, plagiarism. But I believe that's what it is. And plagiarism is not okay. I don't think quite as serious a claim can be laid against [b:Wait for You|17314430|Wait for You (Wait for You, #1)|J. Lynn|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1363819713s/17314430.jpg|23981243], but yet again I see evidence of recycled scenes and characters that tells me on some level, originality has failed to surface in her work once more.

Avery Morgenstern is a new arrival at a college in a town far away from her home. She enters on her first day and walks (literally) into the hottest guy in school. The reformed badboy/playboy/whatever. Everyone wants him. He could have any girl in their college. And yet, for some reason I have been unable to fathom, he only has eyes for Ms clutzy new girl. They naturally find themselves paired together for a class project (astronomy class - which offers much in the way of star-gazing material). He wants her. She says no because she has issues. She's "not like other girls". Needs saving constantly. Blah-de-blah. I've seen this all in a million different things. I don't think I need to point out the glaringly obvious one...

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Oh yeah, and did I mention that she meets him and starts going loopy over his muscles on page 2? And I really wish she wouldn't blush so much. What's with so many YA/NA heroines being so prudish? I'm not talking about Avery's personal issues with sex here (I'll get to those later), it doesn't take anywhere near "sex" to make her blush. I understand it when she walks into Cam (hot dude), I would have blushed in school if I'd walked into the hottest guy there. But I don't understand it when she's talking to her friends and they ask her if she thinks a guy's hot. I would have talked shamelessly with my girlfriends about the hotness of guys at twelve years old, never mind nineteen.

Some of the things being thought/said in this novel are ridiculous. Hilarious for a while, but ultimately ridiculous. Cam lays it all out straight away with "I'm used to having girls throw themselves at me" and Jacob (flamboyant gay friend) bursts onto the scene with lines like this "I don't want my fine ass to be tainted by sitting on that floor". They're all like caricatures and I can't take a single one of them seriously. I also wish someone would inform romance authors that petnames suck. I don't care if it's sweetheart or sunshine or baby or kitten *vomits* - they all suck and infantilise women in a way that just irritates me.

"Blood drained from my face and rushed to other parts of my body in a really odd and confusing way."
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What exactly is odd or confusing about that? Are you twelve?

Why is this hot: "I'm a lot to handle, but I can assure you, you'll have fun handling me." I've met drunk perverts in bars with better lines than that.

There's some crazy wish fulfillment thing going on here with Cam. He's one of those obscenely beautiful male figures with an arrogant personality that I assume we're supposed to find sexy (and clearly, from the ratings, many people do). But I just found the lines he came out with either cringy or hilarious. Or both. He walks around shirtless most of the time with his perfect muscles rippling (oh my god, I will not miss the endless descriptions of his perfect muscles). A beautiful woman called Steph spends her time hanging all over him with her breasts bursting out of her clothes, and yet he never notices(!). He says things like "Avery Morgansten, we meet again." *eye roll* "We have to stop meeting like this." *eye roll* And I don't know whether this was, for me, the best or worst bit of the novel:

Cam took a bite of his cookie and closed his eyes. A deep sound emanated from his throat - a growl of pleasure. My heart jumped and my cheeks heated even more as I stared at him. He made the sound again, and my mouth dropped open. A row down, a girl turned in her seat, her eyes clouded over.

I laughed so much. It's a cookie! It's a fucking cookie! *Can't. Breathe. For. Laughing.*

Most of what I've said so far has been on the funny side of bad but now I'm going to move onto a couple of things that really bugged me. One was the treatment of Steph's character. I know I sound like a broken record and that fact makes me very sad, but I think it's important to keep pointing out the way women are categorised by their sexuality in so many books. The way flirtatious and sexual women who wear revealing clothes are automatically evil and given no further character development. Steph is that character here. She's the one who Cam hooked up with before Avery ever came on the scene, and she's also the one that gets brushed aside like an old rag who can't possibly have any feelings when Cam decides Avery is a special kind of girl who's worth more than being screwed and dumped. It's okay to screw and dump Steph because she's "that kind of girl". This is Avery telling Cam how she's different from Steph:

"I'm not like that."
"Like what?" he asked.
So he was going to make me spell it out. Of course. Why not? "I'm not like her."
"I don't just hook up with guys for fun, okay?"

Thankfully, Cam calls her out on it. Well, he calls her out on the fact that she doesn't even know the girl she's talking about and so she shouldn't jump to hasty conclusions. Fair point. But then there's also that bit where she shouldn't place girls into categories based on how sexually active they like to be (whether she knows them or not).

The other thing that really bugged me was when Jacob asked Avery "are you gay?" because she didn't want to have sex with Cam. It really bothered me that someone was made to feel like they had to be attracted to a certain type of guy because he was soooo pretty. And the only other explanation was that she must be gay? Stupid.

I have one last comment and it's about the dark secret of Avery's past... are we really not supposed to know what's going on? We know she's running away from something. Something a guy called Blaine did to her. Something that makes her have issues with sex and physical contact. Something that made people call her a "whore" and a "liar". Oh, what could it possibly be? Er, no. I can't be the only one who had her "dark secret" pinned from the start, right?
Captive in the Dark - C.J. Roberts Warning: this review is not censored.

There are some people who view the line between consent and non-consent, between sex and rape, as blurry. There are some people who would gladly place blame for rape on that drunk girl in the short skirt who was "asking for it". There are some people who would view flirting and dancing suggestively as an invitation that should be followed through no matter what, it's not the other person's fault for holding the suggestive dancer down and raping them, afterall, it's not really rape if they were flirting first. There are some people who think rape is erotic. And there are some people who think serial killers are sexy.

I am not one of those people.

I'm sure people will start to make assumptions about the kind of person I am as soon as they see my negative rating. I'm sure I can't do anything to change most people's minds. But I am going to tell you a few things about me. For one, I am not a prude. I like reading books about sex. Sometimes I like reading books about kinky sex. I don't mind reading books that push the boundaries with kinky sex into just plain old weird sex. People have their odd kinks and who am I to judge? You want to go home, tie each other up and urinate on one another? You have my full blessing. But there is a line. And that line is drawn, for me, at consent. It isn't a blurry line, it's a straight, permanent marker type line. No non-consensual sex. No sex with those who are not in a position to give consent which, in case you were wondering, includes the mentally unstable, children and animals.

This book isn't a love story.
This book is about a rape victim and a rapist.
This book is not sexy.
This book is not BDSM.
This book is not okay.
This book is abuse.
This book makes Fifty Shades of Grey suggests that the dominance and submission between Olivia and Caleb is natural because she's a woman and he's a man.

"He was a man, and I? I was nothing but a girl, not even a woman. I was meant to fall at his feet and worship at the alter of his masculinity, grateful that he'd deigned to acknowledge me."

"Male and female, masculine and feminine, hard and soft, predator and prey."


It made me nauseous.

I'm sure someone will be willing to tell me I didn't get it. That I'm too narrow-minded to appreciate the complexity of what's going on here. Well, yes, fine. If you think it makes me narrow-minded to find the kidnapping, beating and raping of a girl unacceptable and not remotely erotic... then yes, I am narrow-minded. I'll drink to that.
Shooting Scars - Karina Halle Do the words "sexy", "dark" and "twisted" pique your interest?
Do you secretly love romance but find yourself steering clear of it because of the cheese, the cliches and the recycled characters?
Have you been immersing yourself in the current New Adult trend only to keep meeting with disappointment after disappointment?
Do you wish you could read a book about a hot, sweet and complicated relationship (or two) without the usual misogyny or annoyances?


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Well, have no fear, for Karina Halle is here.
I normally avoid contemporary romance like the plague because of the reasons stated above. Especially ones with a love triangle. But this series just proves that any reader's rule can be broken in the hands of a talented author. That any number of utterly depraved characters can capture your heart with the right amount of skilled character development, touches of humour, and a dark, multi-layered complexity that makes Ellie, Camden and Javier more than simply good or bad. Let's meet our morally questionable cast.

Her name is Ellie Watt.

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Badass. Conwoman. Damaged. Resourceful. Sad. Angry. Confused. Likeable. Unlikeable. Totally screwed up. Today she may be Ellie Watt, but yesterday she was Eden White, and tomorrow she could be Eleanor Willis. Who is she really? The young woman who fell in love with a bad man? The teenager who turned her back on her only friend? A damaged girl torn apart by a lust for vengeance? Only time will tell.

Now meet the two men who love her.

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Camden McQueen - "She took a piece of me I was unable to get back until I was inside her, feeling her heart and her sins in my hands." Camden is the tattoo artist who has been in love with Ellie Watt for as long as he can remember. But as soon as things looked like they might be going right for once, circumstances have swept Ellie away from him yet again. This time, however, he isn't going to let her go so easily. This time, he'll start World War III if he has to.

Javier Bernal - "What Javier and I shared was a deadly cocktail of intense hormones and lies. People who burn that brightly still get burned in the end." Dangerous. Exciting. Volatile. So wrong but so... right? Javier is now the drug lord of a huge empire and he has big plans for Ellie Watt. She's been on the run from him for six years and now he's finally caught up with the only woman he ever loved. What does he want from her? Will Ellie Watt be as willing to give in as Eden White was? And how much danger will she be in if she does?


Oh no, the decisions we must make!

The reason, I think, this love triangle works so damn well and very few others do, is because the two contenders for Ellie's heart are both on equal footing. As soon as you think you've worked out who you want Ellie to be with, the other one does something to make you question your decision. The characters and relationships are so complicated (in a good way) that reading these books is a journey through so many different thoughts and emotions. Make no mistake, the characters in this book are all pretty despicable on some level or other, burning up in the flames of their own anger, hatred and insecurity, but it sure makes this book all the more fun to read. Only a few authors can take some truly bad individuals and make you mesmerised by their stories - [a:Gillian Flynn|2383|Gillian Flynn|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1232123231p2/2383.jpg] is the example that first comes to mind.

What can I say? I love baaaad people.
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There's one thing I love that Karina Halle manages to do so well and very few authors can manage: she shows the gradual progression of characters and relationships over time. Camden and Gus, for an unexpected example, start out as reluctant partners trading jibes, but their experiences together turn them into friends. It's natural for people to grow and change and develop as they go through more experiences and Halle never neglects to show it. Her characters always feel a little older, a little more experienced at the end of each book than they did at the beginning.

In short: this sequel was absolutely delicious. More sexiness, more nastiness, more depravity. Halle really knows how to take you on a journey and have you change your mind a million times before it's over. It's a wickedly fun, exciting read, but tinged with bittersweet sadness. I now know who Ellie should probably be with for the sake of her own sanity. But, then again, Ms Halle is the queen of making me change my mind. One mild criticism I have is the non-ending of this book, it left me incredibly frustrated, but I feel Moning's Fever series has prepared me somewhat for endings of this kind. I only hope the third book makes the pulse-pounding feeling of tension I have right now completely worth it. I'm sure it will.

Are you excited about this series yet? You should be.
Fallen Too Far (Too Far, #1) - Abbi Glines image
I am conducting what I'm shelving as a "New Adult (NA) Experiment". I'm going to work my way through some of the popular New Adult books and see if I can weed out the crap and hopefully find some surprising gems. Here's hoping!

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This book has been disqualified from my NA experiment because it turns out that I'm not actually enough of a masochist for this shit.
Oryx and Crake  - Margaret Atwood Sometimes I'm torn between wishing I could get a glimpse inside Atwood's mind and thinking that might be absolutely terrifying.
Still Alice - Lisa Genova Is the part of my brain that's responsible for my unique 'me-ness' vulnerable to this disease? Or is my identity something that transcends neurons, proteins, and defective molecules of DNA? Is my soul and spirit immune to the ravages of Alzheimer's? I believe it is.

I read this book for three reasons. 1) I have never read a book about Alzheimer's disease, 2) For personal reasons, I have an interest in Alzheimer's, and 3) It has an incredibly high average rating on goodreads. That being said, I have to confess that I didn't really go into this expecting to like it. I picked it up from the library so I wouldn't have to spend money on it and so I could return it quickly when I realised it was nothing more than the regular Nicholas Sparks in particular and the way the author's background working with abuse victims helped her have a deeper understanding of the characters she was dealing with and the story she was telling. Genova holds a Harvard PHD in Neuroscience and there is a surety and confidence in her scientific explanations of the disease that makes this fact evident in her writing. She knows the small details of what she's talking about and so the bigger picture is naturally more convincing.

On a personal note, there is a history of Alzheimer's in my family. I don't understand it enough to know whether it's genetic or a coincidence that many of the women on my mother's side have suffered from the disease. I do know my mum is afraid of it, though she doesn't talk about it often. But every time she forgets where she put something she was holding just minutes ago, every time she reaches for a word - a word she uses every day - and it slips away, just out of her grasp, every single time she wonders if it's a sign of something more serious than getting older and having a busy schedule. It's this small scale stuff that makes the novel so terrifying. We could all be Alice. We all forget small things every day, that's just a fact and it happens to everyone, but what if one day those forgotten memories don't come back straight away? And the next time, what if they go a bit longer? The progression from the small things to the more serious stages of the disease is truly scary.

This book is frightening on both a biologial and psychological level. When I think of Alzheimer's, I think of forgotten memories, of faces you can't put a name to, of everyday places that seem unfamiliar. But the author's haunting descriptions of the biological truth are entirely different and frightening on a whole new level. I don't think about what is really happening in the brain, neurons being destroyed bit by bit, dying some more every day, eroding pieces of who you are. Memories, for me, are those things that disappear for a while but come back to you later. But Alzheimer's doesn't make you forget memories, it goes in and completely destroys them. As if they were never there.

And that is the important question for Alice: how much can she lose and still be herself? If our entire personalities are built from memories, sensory experiences, from the things we've said and done, who are we when we no longer remember any of that? How can you make today matter when tomorrow you won't even remember it? It's a sad book but it doesn't fail to leave you with a glimpse of light in the darkness too. But I'll leave you to find out what that is for yourself.

The final comment I'd like to make is not so much a criticism of the book but a comment on what I'd personally like to see on this subject in the future. As I said at the beginning, I've never read a book about Alzheimer's before and I may be missing a very good one that already exists, but I kept thinking while reading this that I'd like to read a story about someone who wasn't as successful as Alice. Alice gains comfort from the fact that she has had a fantastic career, a husband who loves her, and three intelligent children. She's obviously right to cling to all the good things in her life, but I wonder how the story would be different if told about a man or woman without Alice's financial prosperity. There has to be so many different stories and experiences to be told about this disease and I suddenly find myself wanting to read more of them.
Close My Eyes - Sophie McKenzie image
Sophie McKenzie hasn't strayed too far from the young adult style she's used to with this adult book that was an entertaining distraction but ultimately too ridiculous and unbelievable to deserve a higher rating. No one will see the twists coming because they are more than a little too "out there" to be believed. But it is entertaining. McKenzie knows how to create tension with every page and her cliffhanger chapter endings guarantee you won't be putting the book down any time soon. And the ending is suitably eerie, it tells us that this story may be over, but simultaneously gives life to the characters so we believe they carry on living after the last page.

The story is about Geniver Loxley who gave birth to a stillborn daughter eight years ago. Despite trying to throw herself into work, turn to friends and have another baby, Geniver remains haunted by the ghost of the little girl she lost. Then one day a woman arrives at her door. This woman's sister just passed away but, the woman claims, she made a strange and horrifying confession on her deathbed. While working as a nurse in the hospital, she witnessed the delivery of Geniver's healthy baby and was paid to keep quiet as it was whisked away and replaced with a stillborn. And even worse than all that, Art - Geniver's husband - was in on it.

Geniver angrily turns the woman away at first. But, as she goes home and thinks over everything that happened eight years ago, she begins to realise how many little things just don't quite add up. And suddenly she begins to wonder how well she knows the man she sleeps next to, whether her child could really be out there somewhere, and if perhaps she is simply losing her mind. This latter question becomes the central focus of the book and I love psychological mysteries that make you question the very sanity of the protagonist. Everyone thinks she's dealing badly with grief, even Geniver starts to wonder too, and so the reader also finds themselves questioning it.

Geniver's sadness, fear, anger and frustration over her loss, then her obsession with this new possibility, then the disbelief of her friends, is told in a very compelling way. This is one of those books that can make you feel a little suffocated inside the protagonist's head, but I mean that in the best way possible. It's easy to get so far into her life that you experience each emotion Geniver does. It's really a shame that the plot and twists of the mystery fail to deliver when I found the psychological aspect so appealing.

But the climax is laughable. The culprit is not so hard to guess in a book like this where there's not so many possibilities, but one of my favourite parts of mystery books is the "whys", not the "whos". And the "whys" here were far-fetched and unconvincing. There is no gradual build to it, you don't look back and see how that makes any sense, it feels like it flew in out of nowhere. It was the book's major flaw. There were other minor flaws too, like eyebrow-raising thoughts Geniver had. One that springs to mind is how she couldn't possibly believe Art was having an affair, she dismissed that immediately, but she could believe he was responsible for kidnapping their daughter and claiming she was dead. Okaaaaay.

I would have also liked this book to be a touch more adult. There was a tameness to it which reminded me constantly that McKenzie normally finds herself writing young adult books. McKenzie attempts a sex scene at one point and the best she can manage is a heated kiss before the fade to black. Not that I'm expecting erotica or anything, but it all felt a little too PG for the older audience McKenzie was targeting.
The Poisonwood Bible - Barbara Kingsolver image
There's plenty of goodreads reviewers who felt differently, but I found The Poisonwood Bible. They are both books about countries and cultures that I was only vaguely familiar with and they are both about a very specific turning point in each country's history. And while they are both good, in my opinion, they are also two very different kinds of novels. [b:A Thousand Splendid Suns|128029|A Thousand Splendid Suns|Khaled Hosseini|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1345958969s/128029.jpg|3271379] is a fast-paced, emotional, dramatic page-turner that has you constantly on the edge of your seat. I read it in a single day and wanted to recommend it to every person who hadn't read it. [b:The Poisonwood Bible|7244|The Poisonwood Bible|Barbara Kingsolver|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1327881914s/7244.jpg|810663], on the other hand, is a slower, more complex, more demanding work that is even more satisfying when you look back over it and observe it's clever details as a whole. It's not for everyone and I'm sure my Empire and Decolonization course helped prepare me somewhat for it.

Ultimately, I really liked how Kingsolver uses the different perspectives to take on the different attitudes to postcolonialism. For me, this is a clever and thought-provoking novel that goes beyond what many other books of its kind have achieved.
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini image
It was a warm, sunny day in Montenegro and I was about to set out on a boat trip. I felt certain that a combination of sightseeing and the people I was with would keep me from having much time to read, but I packed a book anyway just in case there was time for a chapter or two in between stops. [b:A Thousand Splendid Suns|128029|A Thousand Splendid Suns|Khaled Hosseini|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1345958969s/128029.jpg|3271379] happened to be that book. And at the end of the day, when I staggered off that boat, blinking at my sudden exposure to reality, it wasn't because I'd been mesmerised by the stunning architecture and history lessons, no, it was because Hosseini stomped all over my heart and had me tearing through pages like a madwoman. I'm not even sure how I found enough hours in the day to take a boat trip around Montenegro and read this entire novel, but somehow I finished this in the few hours I had... simply because I had to.

My initial reaction was a furious, teary promise to myself that I would have to give this book five stars - I think it's impossible for the mind to win a battle with the heart in that level of heat, especially when you're used to English weather. But afterwards, I managed to reclaim some of my sense and sanity, which is when I finally began to acknowledge this book's limitations. For one thing, I think it's extremely generous to place this book in the "literary fiction" category when I'm not so sure it belongs there. Please be aware, I am not complaining and I am certainly not a book snob, give me a delicious page-turner over some pretentious waffle any day. But I find myself comparing [b:A Thousand Splendid Suns|128029|A Thousand Splendid Suns|Khaled Hosseini|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1345958969s/128029.jpg|3271379] to another book about a country, culture and history I was only vaguely familiar with - [b:The Poisonwood Bible|7244|The Poisonwood Bible|Barbara Kingsolver|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1327881914s/7244.jpg|810663] - a book which I also read on my trip. The latter is a far more complex, ambitious work that brings something which, to me, felt entirely fresh and original. Hosseini's story, on the other hand, is not groundbreaking and I recognise many of the scenes and characters from other books - [b:The Color Purple|11486|The Color Purple|Alice Walker|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1166478450s/11486.jpg|3300573] is the one which first came to mind.

What it is though, or was at least for me, is incredibly emotional, sad, uplifting, infuriating and memorable. It's lessons on the history of Afghanistan and the rise of the Taliban might be basic but they are nothing if not compelling. I came away feeling like I learned something, which it is always a pleasure to say. What I did learn was truly horrifying, it painted details into the very vague images I already had in my mind that I had got from various British newspapers. But I also really liked the affection for his birth country that shines through Hosseini's story, his faith in the ultimate goodness of these people who witnessed society and order crumbling around them.

The ultimate tragedy of this story, for me, is how everything could have been very different for Mariam and Laila if people had just acted a little faster, stopped worrying about their pride a little earlier, and trusted a little more. I really liked the range of emotions both women experienced and they way the author showed this. I know some readers thought it was wrong for Mariam to be jealous of Laila at first, that her jealousy didn't make sense, but I actually really liked that complex level of emotion that goes beyond what we would expect. Rasheed may be a bastard but he was the only thing in the world that she had at that point and on some level it made sense to me that she would want to claim him for herself.

While I believe Mariam and Laila experienced complex emotions and were well-developed, Rasheed did not get the same treatment - a fact which I'm torn about. On the one hand, I think Rasheed would have been a better character with greater development beyond him being the most villainous villain of all villaindom. On the other hand, I think Rasheed's evil personality offers an important distinction between him and Jalil (and the other men), one which is needed in a book that looks at the cruelties women suffer at the hands of men. The difference between Rasheed and Jalil is important, the latter is a man who acts badly because his behaviour is shaped by the society he lives in and, because of that, he lets Mariam down when she needs him most. Rasheed, on the other hand, is a mean and violent brute who completely abuses the power handed to him as a man in this society. These differences between Rasheed, Jalil and the other men (Tariq, Laila's dad, etc.) show there is not one type of man in this society, that wife-beating is not simply a part of the culture, that even in a patriarchal society you can choose what type of man you want to be.

I admit this is far from a perfect book, but it is a good book. It's a book that seems to swallow you whole but spit you back out in pieces. And, just to mention, I keep intending to read [b:The Kite Runner|77203|The Kite Runner|Khaled Hosseini|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1309288316s/77203.jpg|3295919] again because I think studying it at school ruined it for me, but so far, I much prefer [b:A Thousand Splendid Suns|128029|A Thousand Splendid Suns|Khaled Hosseini|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1345958969s/128029.jpg|3271379].
The Cuckoo's Calling - Robert Galbraith Things you should know: 1) Ms Rowling filled my childhood and early teen years with magic. I love Harry Potter and I confess to only adding this book after I found out she was the author. 2) I did not go into this with the intention to compare it to Harry Potter. I did not expect magic or wizards and I fully anticipated this being very different to the HP books. 3) I have read and enjoyed many mystery/crime novels in the past. My favourites being by [a:Tana French|138825|Tana French|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1277505771p2/138825.jpg] and [a:Gillian Flynn|2383|Gillian Flynn|http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/authors/1232123231p2/2383.jpg]. So, there was no reason why I couldn't have enjoyed this book simply because it wasn't magical Potterland. But I didn't and, after putting a lot of thought into this, I think I finally understand why.

Here's the sad truth: I can't stand Rowling's writing when she writes for adults. I actually find it painful to read. Let's be clear from the beginning, I started and never finished The Casual Vacancy because the opening didn't grab me and there was something about it - something which I couldn't put my finger on - that made it an effort to get through. A certain style to the writing which didn't agree with me. I thought perhaps it was a one-off because I'd read all her other works and never had a problem with her writing style. That's why I jumped at the chance to try another adult book by Rowling and sort out what was evidently a bout of silliness on my part. What this book did give me was an answer to why neither of Rowling's adult books worked for me.

Rowling writes in an unusual manner. It's not unique to her work for adults, Harry Potter has it too, but the effect had on both is very different. Rowling's style of writing, including the dialogue between characters, is formal to the point of being old-fashioned. Part of me wants to compare it to Austen but I'm cautious of doing so because of the amount of people (usually including myself) who might read that as a compliment. Rowling's formal style doesn't work, for me, when using it in an adult mystery and pairing it with profanity and grisly murders. It feels out of place and weighs down each page with tedious descriptions that use too many awkward similes, metaphors and adjectives.

"...face the colour of corned beef..."

"...the snow fell with soft fingertip plunks..."

"...long-snouted cameras..."


Her descriptions all felt a bit off to me. And I particularly didn't like the unsophisticated use of big words. It's like when inexperienced indie authors go crazy with thesaurus.com, using clunky words like "exacerbated" and "exorbitant" in casual sentences that don't benefit from it. The characters in this book never check the time or look at their watches, they "consult" their watches. Think I'm being picky? Try reading whole pages where every sentence replaces the obvious words with complex ones and see how far you get without your brain starting to scream. And it felt like every single noun had at least one adjective before it. Not only that, but Rowling repeats similar adjectives when referring to the objects again. In one sentence, we are told she climbed the "steel stairs" and in the next she's continuing up the "metal stairs". WHY???? And also WHYYYYYY???

Another example of Rowling's old-fashioned style is her frequent use of expressions like "oh my!" and "goodness!", expressions I'm sure some of you will recognise from Harry Potter characters. What is this? It's like Mary Poppins or Little Women or, I don't know, Little House on the Prairie. And maybe it works fine in all of those, same as it works fine in Harry Potter, but none of those also had a side-helping of profanity and very adult themes. They do all, however, share the formal language style.

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And while I think people were silly to say things about The Casual Vacancy like "ohmigod this had, like, noooooo magic and even fewer dark lords" when Rowling clearly said it was an adult mystery book and I wanted to say to those silly people:

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I still think it's entirely relevant to compare the two when looking at Rowling's writing style and the reason why sometimes it works and sometimes it really doesn't. The formal tone with simplistic language - like in Harry Potter - is okay, but dense descriptions and over-complicated sentences made it hard work and tedious in this book. It's like a very formal letter with the occasional random swear word thrown in. And it doesn't work. Not for me, anyway. The style simply doesn't fit the content; there's swearing and murders and people rescuing others by grabbing their breasts...

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I'm not even going to talk about the story beyond saying I found it a standard mystery that could have been good if I'd not had these other reasons for not liking it. The killer is not hard to guess for anyone familiar with crime mysteries but that isn't usually what I care about most in crime mysteries anyway. Plus, in this case, I'm just too blinded by my dislike for the writing. *sigh* I think it's fair to say that I'm finally done trying to enjoy Rowling's adult books.

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P.S. Yes, I did get a little overexcited when I googled Mary Poppins gifs.
Carrie's Run: A Homeland Novel - Andrew Kaplan As I said in the comment below: "It just completely lacked everything I love from the series. I felt it was far less character-driven than the TV show and the CIA operation (which is the entire plot) felt cold and uninteresting."

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